Kindness to parents

The source. The meaning of verses 17:23-24: "Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be good to your parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not even say 'ugh' to them, do not scold them, and speak to them with respect. Lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say: 'My Lord, have mercy on them as they raised me when I was small.'" [TEXTE ARABE À INSÉRER: sourate 17:23-24]

Notice: in this verse, kindness to parents comes right after the worship of Allah.

A man asked the Prophet ﷺ: "Who most deserves my good company?" He said: "Your mother." "Then who?" "Your mother." "Then who?" "Your mother." "Then who?" "Your father." (Bukhari 5971, Muslim 2548)

The Prophet ﷺ was also asked which deed Allah loves most. He said: prayer on time, then kindness to parents. (Bukhari 527, Muslim 85)

In practice, at your age: • Tone matters: even when you disagree, speak without shouting or sighing. The verse forbids even an "ugh"! • Help without being asked: the dishes, the groceries, your younger brothers and sisters. • Let them know where you are and when you will be home. • Make du'a for them: "Rabbi rḥamhumaa kamaa rabbayaanii ṣaghiiraa" (17:24).

What if you disagree? You can give your opinion respectfully. If your parents ask you to disobey Allah, you do not obey on that point, but you stay kind to them (31:15). And if you are in a difficult or dangerous situation at home, talk to a trusted adult or to the imam.

What about you? This week, do one thing for your parents without being asked. Notice how they react.

Understanding the lesson

Explanation Why does kindness to parents come right after the worship of Allah (17:23)? Because after Allah, they are the ones who have done the most for you, often without you seeing it: "His mother carried him in weakness upon weakness" (meaning of verse 31:14). The Qur'an also recalls the strain of pregnancy and nursing (46:15). The hadith that repeats "your mother" three times underlines these particular efforts.

The Prophet ﷺ said: "May he be humbled, may he be humbled, may he be humbled!" He was asked: "Who?" He answered: "The one whose parents, or one of them, reach old age with him, and who does not enter Paradise." (Muslim 2551) In other words, parents are a door to Paradise, and it would be a real loss not to go through it.

Obeying and respecting are not quite the same. We obey our parents in what is good; there is no obedience in disobeying Allah, because "obedience is only in what is good" (Bukhari 7257, Muslim 1840). But respect and gentleness remain due in every case (31:15).

Common pitfalls: being polite to other adults and curt with your parents; answering with a sigh or an eye-roll; thinking that growing up means no longer needing them; helping only when there is something in it for you.

Lessons to draw • Choose your tone before your words, especially in a disagreement. • Do one helpful thing a day without being asked. • Make the du'a of verse 17:24 for them every day. • Thank them and show them affection, even awkwardly. • If you are in a dangerous situation at home, talk to a trusted adult or to the imam.

Key points • Being good to parents comes right after the worship of Allah (17:23). • "Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father" (Bukhari 5971, Muslim 2548). • We obey in what is good; we stay respectful always (31:15).

The main message Being good to your parents is thanking Allah through those who raised you; it is one of the most direct paths to Paradise.