Speech and the tongue

The source. The Prophet ﷺ said: "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or stay silent." (Bukhari 6018, Muslim 47)

He also said: "The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe." (Bukhari 10, Muslim 40)

Backbiting (ghiiba). The Prophet ﷺ asked: "Do you know what backbiting is?" Then he explained: "It is saying about your brother what he would dislike." He was asked: "What if what I say is true?" He answered: "If it is true, that is backbiting; if it is false, that is slander." (Muslim 2589) The Qur'an compares backbiting to eating the flesh of one's dead brother, and also forbids spying and unjust suspicion (meaning of verse 49:12). [TEXTE ARABE À INSÉRER: sourate 49:12]

Mockery. "O you who believe! Let no group mock another group: perhaps they are better than them" (meaning of the start of verse 49:11). Hurtful nicknames, imitating someone to make others laugh, jokes about someone's origin or looks: all of that counts.

The good word. The Prophet ﷺ said: "A good word is charity." (Bukhari 2989, Muslim 1009) Encouragement, a sincere compliment, a "well done", an "I'm sorry", advice given privately and gently.

Three questions before speaking: Is it true? Is it useful? Is it kind? If the answer is no, it is better to stay silent.

What about you? In a group, people start talking about a student who is not there and laughing at him. What can you say or do?

Understanding the lesson

Explanation Why does Islam stress the tongue so much? Because a word is quickly said, but its effects can last a long time. The Prophet ﷺ said that a person may say a word without thinking about it and fall because of it far into the Fire (Bukhari 6477, Muslim 2988). He also said: "Whoever guarantees me what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I guarantee him Paradise." (Bukhari 6474)

Three faults of the tongue come up often: backbiting (saying about someone absent what they would dislike, even if true), slander (saying false bad things) and namiima (carrying words from some people to others to stir up trouble). The Prophet ﷺ said: "The talebearer will not enter Paradise." (Bukhari 6056, Muslim 105)

Talking about someone is not always backbiting: asking an adult for advice, reporting a danger or an injustice is different. Talking to a trusted adult to protect yourself or someone else is not backbiting. [À VÉRIFIER: wording to be confirmed by the imam]

Common pitfalls: "I'm only telling the truth" (that is exactly the definition of backbiting, Muslim 2589); listening to backbiting without saying anything; passing on a secret "to just one person".

Lessons to draw • Before speaking, ask yourself the three questions: true? useful? kind? • Change the subject when the conversation turns to backbiting, or defend the absent person. • Keep the secrets people trust you with. • Replace one criticism with sincere encouragement, at least once a day. • Apologise quickly when a word has hurt.

Key points • "Let him speak good or stay silent" (Bukhari 6018, Muslim 47). • Backbiting = saying about your brother what he would dislike, even if true (Muslim 2589). • A good word is charity (Bukhari 2989, Muslim 1009).

The main message Your tongue can hurt or heal: by choosing your words, you protect others and protect yourself before Allah.